red hot chili peppers: under the bridge
the first thing i should say (because it's going to come up again and again) is that i started playing the violin at age 4. my parents took me to the symphony when i was little and thought i would eventually play the piano. that was the plan. so they enrolled me in a class at detroit community music school called 'orff.' per wikipedia: the orff approach, created by carl orff (of carmina burana and also sprach zarathustra fame), combines movement, music, language, and drama into lessons that look like child's play. basically, we used xylophones and tambourines and clapping and singing to learn the basics of music. it was great fun, and it was supposed to provide me with a basic foundation before piano lessons. but everyone in the class had a violin group lesson right after my saturday morning orff class. i was the only one without a violin. showing an early inclination for competition, i could simply not be the only one without. so i talked my parents into enrolling me in violin group class...which i surpassed...and so i got private lessons...and kept on, with lessons, quartets, youth symphonies, bands, school orchestras, pit orchestras, studio recording, score creation, weddings, and on and on...until well, forever. i'm still doing a bunch of these things.
but back to my point. i started violin at age 4, so music has been a part of my life consistently. i don't remember a time before i played music. reading music is not unlike reading words. i just know how to do it. it's defined me...or i've defined it. but it's a part of me. so what does this have to do with red hot chili peppers?
well, this song was all the rage while i was in high school. i'm sure high school is traumatic for all girls. but growing up playing the violin instead of soccer (the two conflicted - my youth orchestra was at the same time as soccer games), having red hair, placing into AP classes, and generally being pretty shy didn't help high school become less of a consistent fear fest. at the height of popularity for under the bridge, i was a junior in high school. and i was just starting to see the light of a time when i might appeal to boys and cease the constant worry i carried around about popularity.
just around this time, we took an orchestra trip with the other high school in my home town. i have to admit that having started years and years before most of the other kids in high school, i was a bit of a rock star in orchestra. it was my one haven of near-coolness. and for the first time, someone i hadn't known forever was enamored. i remember this trip and this guy...derek, maybe? we took a bus out somewhere...stayed overnight...and then came back on a bus. listening to the radio the whole time. i'm sure we played something wonderful somewhere...but i remember the trip and this guy who wanted to talk to me. a lot. he went to the other high school and was older (a senior!).
the vision that comes back when i hear RHCP is a sunny spring day at my friend, joanna's house. it was my home away from home - she calls my mom "mom" and i call her mom "mom." it's just like that. well, joanna, me, and some other girl friends were hanging out at her place and (let's just go ahead and call him) derek shows up. bleach blonde hair. white teeth. football jersey. somewhat cool, right? and he wants me to go to his prom.
of course, i say yes...right!? but i didn't. i remember being really scared of this person whom i didn't know and who was suddenly paying me all of this attention i had never experienced before. and so i said no. i'm sure i was really wishy washy about it, but basically, i said no. and he came over to joanna's house to try to convince me. i can picture us out in the street talking. i have no idea what sort of explanation i gave...but i know what i was feeling was a new kind of fear. so i didn't go. but i remember this song playing throughout our extremely short courtship and in the time after i disappointed him by refusing to go to his prom. and i remember thinking that the song was somehow very grown up. first off, it was off of an album called blood, sugar, sex, magik which was blatantly all sorts of subject matter that i hadn't experienced first-hand. but also, it was a was about really being alone and using drugs.
now that i think about it, i probably used some vague excuse about my other boyfriend...my junior year was all about finally being noticed by boys - even if they were all from other schools. and it was this next summer where i spent one of my loneliest times. i learned a ton about myself that next summer, and it had to do with being alone, falling in love, losing friends, and starting to worry about a whole host of new problems...growing up...
but that's a story for when i hear some elton john. sigh. i know that's going to be a rough entry.
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